....Rainey's hidden thoughts....

last night's dream

2011-03-09T11:06:00.000+08:00

It was my wedding day. Our house was set for the party. After somebody just sold me a bag i noticed that it has some breakage. An hour before the wedding i decided to go and look for the person who sold me the bag to have it replaced or return it. Wasnt able to find her. On my way home i pass by the house of the man i am going to marry, his house was all prepared for the wedding too, and he was sitting by the wedding table with his hands clasp..waiting for me...i looked to see who it was...and it was him....i cant believe that he was waiting for me....i hurried home to get dressed....i only have a few minutes left....then i woke up....
I searched for the meaning of a bag on a dream. It meant ..responsibilities....

midst

2011-03-07T09:50:00.000+08:00

In the midst of all this craziness ..... you...my one and only you....remains.....still ....im yours...

with you

2011-02-21T00:29:00.000+08:00

Hurts like it always hurt. If only theres a way to let you know. But i guess you dont want to go back there too. Like me im too scared. An email from a friend hit a bullseye....the only consolation i have are her words...that i would like so much to believe in.

blog memories

2011-02-19T00:16:00.002+08:00

Wow, i just finish reading my blog from the very start. And i notice how i write differently now. Well i have secrets to tell and even with this privacy i dont want those thoughts spilling somewhere else. How i wanted to write in details but oh well i love boggling my mind with mysteries. Oh to think i had two more blogs that totally deleted. Memories memories, now theres no way to get those back. I wish i can still remember those words i said back then. Only the feelings it coincides with i guess. It was worth writing and too precious to delete.but i did and im glad somehow. oh i learned something from one my entries, if you make a wish be detailed about it , yeah i was the one who wrote it and yet i forgot the rules of wishing hahaha so from now on i will be ms detailed.

evernote

2011-02-18T23:46:00.000+08:00

I should've not let that happy feeling wash easily over me and completely break my newly transformed courage. But instead I used that courageous stupidity to something that will left me feeling down and on my begging knees again. Addition to the feathers on your crown. So here I am again....at the same road that I tried to sway away from. I need to get out and not hope again. I just don't need that. I have to accept that things will never be the same again. That wave that swept me off my feet is lost in the sea of make believes.

One and only you

2011-02-04T05:37:00.002+08:00

the need to create a wall. To not further think of what could have beens or one heart's wish....should start piling up the stones. Stop wishing stop dreaming. For it will only be a one heart desire not two....

Fading?

2011-02-04T05:36:00.000+08:00

I stopped for a reason that a weary heart can only explain. Tho as I tried to hold with answers that blinded me..the truth is there knocking on the senses in me. My soul is still where I want it to be but my heart is slowly fading away.

Hell again

2011-01-30T05:34:00.000+08:00

It's starting all over again. The fear starting to crawl will eat the 'me' that I have bled to be born free.....the hell I am trying to stay away from is here again......

Follow

2011-01-27T05:33:00.000+08:00

Obedience to the Divine ordinance. Be what is told and be what is ordered. will obey. But in time let the wind blow it's course to it's rightful place... To where freedom roams....to where the wave is...to it's home

Untitled

2011-01-26T05:32:00.000+08:00

The missing part of the strong wave, slowly eating up the strength gained by little lies. Nothing can still throw away the storm that blew me away.

The truth

2011-01-26T05:31:00.000+08:00

acknowledging what's right from wrong. Blinding as the sunlight. How can anyone defy that neither can i. How can a strong heart survives that?

Dear john

2011-01-25T05:29:00.000+08:00

It's been a year since I saw dear John. I finally had the strength to watch the trailer again. But still touched my heart and I can't help not to shed a tear on it.

Longing

2011-01-05T13:32:00.000+08:00

I guess it just doesn't work that way, where I can just easily just leave it. Tho I know I'm alone on this fight, how far can i go with this stupidity. How can I still hold on to something when I'm only one stuck into it. My silent cries, my heart aching for something I can't even touch, I wasn't even allowed to touch. As i thought that i can finally close that door but Yeah I still long for you my fairytale.

Moving on

2010-12-19T15:59:00.000+08:00

No need to stay where I was..I was so blinded to have believed. Now that everything is in the clearing I realized how I was wrong to have even gave you a portion of me... I was just an itch that needed to be scratched. Yeah I was a fool to believe that your not heartless. No more pain I choose to not hurt by you anymore. If you think that you won on this game of yours then feel that winning... its yours...I will not let me be touched by you no more...

2010-12-10T13:02:00.000+08:00

A sudden change of heart came like a thief in the night, un invited, un expected , unwanted. So sudden that it took my feelings away in a mere blink of an eye... Am I happy about it?? Still looking for answers...when I have finally decided to stop here you are again...

The unexpected

2010-12-06T12:49:00.000+08:00

turned off by un expectancy. Feelings geared to what it needed to get in touch with.... Yeah reality.... Finally acceptance
Comes clean with what's real by what's here on hand.

Homey2

2010-12-05T14:38:00.000+08:00

One of the good things about staying home is I get to put decorations around the house. Yeh I did Halloween,Thanksgiving and (just this morning) Christmas. This is my first to experience a real Christmas tree and wow it smells so good!!! Not only the house is so reddish and silverish (that the chosen color for this year red and silver),the tree brings out that tingly smell that makes me sniff the air everytime I pass by it. We also put up alot of christmas lights outside so the house is twinkling at night time. It's nice,really nice...this little things brings me happiness all the time.

Homey

2010-12-05T14:26:00.002+08:00

I have my nerves set up to 'slow mode', and my body is adjusted to it now. I used to run around and do errands just so I don't get bored, well it's been 4 months since I left my job so yeah all i do now is just cook and watch movies.
I dont want to get used to this tho, I would like to get a job soon and start earning.... And yeah have a lovely time for myself even for just an hour or two. I used to boggle my head on what to do when I was alone coz I was not used to that,now that I'm finally around with alot of people, I miss the quiet solitude of me,my music and my thoughts. Yeah life is weird, like all the time.

Starry starry night

2010-12-05T08:55:00.000+08:00

I wanna be positive about this,optimistic as I could be. I will have that one wish I always long for. In Gods perfect time

Why?

2010-12-04T01:25:00.000+08:00

Questions that suffocates me...over and over. I'll be wondering for the rest of my life. This one wish I can never have.

Untitled

2010-12-03T12:56:00.000+08:00

My heart remains to where it was before,stupid I know but i just want to stand there still until I run out of reasons to justify why. My heart doesn't ache anymore for what it longs for I have accepted it's not for me to keep. Everything happens for a reason whatever that is I'm still trying to understand and accept it.

movie marathon

2010-11-15T20:09:00.000+08:00

one beautiful sunday, 3 movies, a bucketful of popcorn and extra large soda. enough to make my kids happy and content and STILL for a day haha. i swear i'm running out of activities for them to do. i dunno why they get bored SO easily!

oh well, we are going to do this again next sunday, coz thats what i wanted for my birthday, another movie marathon with them. and harry potter is on too !!! so excited :)

the love for baking

2010-11-12T01:36:00.000+08:00

i love cooking, don't get me wrong and it seems that it's all i do now. The kids loves the end product and that makes me happy. I get to experiment on some recipes i recently discovered, tho i only baked once, but i do use the oven pretty much. I do miss straining some flour, getting my hands sticky with icings and dough or decorating cakes. You see here, cakes are everywhere and any box you see seems to have a ready made bake goodies and all it needs is some water, shove it in the oven and its good to eat in 15 minutes. People here are amazed with you (with their jaw on the ground even) if you bake something from scratch. Im always tounge-tied with my reaction it seems that good old fashioned baking is not THAT common anymore. I hope i will never ever adopt to that. I always love to get my fingers dirty, have my shirt covered with either powdered sugar, cream or cocoa, get so tired with 8 hours of baking and eating the end result.And yeah i love sharing 'em too.

First week in New Jersey

2010-10-02T19:38:00.000+08:00

The rushing cold wind on the airport, me and the kids are okey with it. Warm hugs from my kids and husband that welcomed us. We drove most of the week, showing us around this beautiful place, where all houses looked like fairytales. I lost my sense of direction for everytime a place made a mark on my mind another pretty place will pass by and i am lost for a landmark! Its been two weeks now and its the only time im starting to memorize the way around. Ill be driving soon and i really need to remember everything turn and stops and streets.

love those chocolate drizzle

2010-05-30T06:56:00.001+08:00

i finally found a time and energy to bake again! This is an angel cake with white frosting. I used whipping cream but didn't put too much sugar to it, so its light. The sweetness comes from the chocolate drizzle thats why i went overboard on that and the rice crispies on top is to add texture cause the cake is so fluffy.

One of my favorite cakes!

Ricky Martin is Gay

2010-04-04T17:02:00.001+08:00

i remember the first time i saw him was from a poster, that wide eyed smile...that pointy nose..so innocent and thin...he was 13 yrs old...a member of a popular puerto rican group "Menudo". I was then about to enter Highschool.They visited Philippines 3 yrs in a row and i never missed a concert, TV appearances and oh boy the pics i bought from my small allowance i considered a treasure back then. Pleaded my mom to buy me posters and to even go with me to this TV studio so i can see him near...well i did and boy i was madly inlove!

Then the popularity faded, didn't hear his name for years to come...then one night while watching an international beauty contest on TV he appeared, i saw him sing one more time..i can't believe my eyes...a miracle to even see him again....a young man now, i trace his face for differences, he looked the same, the same wide eyed smile....

Years passed and he became world wide popular...he is now a man...with muscles and nice body built...his face with traces of maturity..with angles and sharpness...he still carries that same smile...the thing that caught me off guard years back..Women swirming all around him...with his sexy songs and dances....

He is now a father of 2 baby boys.. and yea finally admitted that he is gay...what can i say? He said he is fortunate and i think he is living his life happy..and theres nothing more i can wish for him.

missing the habbit

2010-03-15T13:31:00.000+08:00

with the kind of work that i do now, that i needed to allow 4 hours of travel time going and coming home from work, thats just eats up my energy and i can't seem to find the strength to bake again.... and with the small kitchen that i have now, baking you know takes up space, with all my knicks and knacks, everywhere. Its just too tiring to even clean up my baking mess afterwards. whewww....i cant even try new recipes! when i used to have time to do that every week. but oh well, im going to file a leave soon and heck im going to bake till im so sore and can't move anymore. Now thats a plan!

It seems that i'm not adopted with my new life yet and to think its been a year now.

a night off

2010-03-04T01:40:00.000+08:00

i am sleepy but i choose to enjoy this quiet moment browsing something to read....which i haven't done in such a long time now, how i love to browse for food blogs and now i am having a feast. i miss sitting in front of the computer for hours just browsing and not minding of the time.. at wee hours in the morning, and yea here i am, savoring it, but i know i need sleep because im going to bike this morning and need to attend a seminar at 2pm and then check for some documents i need to complete for an application. Oh well im fully booked this day what can i say and here i am, sitting and just reading...

ok ok ill just stay for 5 more minutes then go to bed.

Dancing at the Plaza

2009-12-19T08:20:00.000+08:00

Every weekend at 5am, a group of middle aged women dances at the Town Plaza Hall. This is a project of the Mayor's wife, for exercise. At first i was shy to try to join them, but in due time my dancing feet kicks in and there i am dancing with them for 2 hours. Its fun and a nice way to release stress. As i bike my way to be there and im so glad that today is my off so i can join the saturday class, since i can normally join them during sundays. I have lost alot of weight already, since ive been jogging 3 times a week and this dancing thing is also a way of socializing with people who wants to stay healthy like me. Coz with jogging im just alone with my headset and no other people to laugh with. Im into biking also, when my knees hurt (yea im old ) and i get too lazy with running, i just bike around the town.

I still need to loose 10-15 more pounds and im getting there!

mocha cake

2009-12-17T14:53:00.001+08:00

its a mocha chiffon cake, with candied walnuts on top, grated chocolate and chocolate drizzle. The frosting is whipped cream with a dash of coffee and powdered sugar.

starting to bake again

2009-12-11T05:25:00.002+08:00

i finally have my old oven back and im starting to do what i love this world...baking!!! with the stress im having at work, im finally able to have some release and boy im having so much fun.

its nice to have people roaming around and picking up things that you bake while your not looking haha at least you knw you are doing a great job on it, but please leave some for me to taste it hehehe

im in heaven and theres nothing left to say :))

rj's diary

2009-11-30T11:24:00.002+08:00

i just read Rj's last entry and so nothing has changed i guess, well im not really looking forward to any changes, but hopes are up and i wish since there are in a new place now, the one he is looking up to finally grows up and stop being a someone that we all need to carry on all our shoulders,to think he should have been the wall that we can lean upon on.

not even a miracle can change him. im so glad he is out of my life, but i guess he is not letting me go that easy.

phenomenon

2009-10-21T11:01:00.001+08:00

yesterday i had free time to sit and open the tv, as i browsed thru the channels i saw HBO opening credits, i saw John Travolta's name, and wished that the next name that will flash is Kyra Seigwick. And yeah wish granted. I missed watching movies like this, nice love story, its nice to see how George Malley patiently waited till Lace was ready to love him. He loved her and bought her chairs. One of my fave movies of all times. The famous line there thats unforgettable is when George asked Lace " Will you love me for the rest of my life? ". Lace replied "No,... i will love you for the rest of mine.."

Do it Do it

2009-09-08T12:31:00.002+08:00

a line from a book given to me by Vj
'What brings you pleasure? Do it Do it, for it will give lightness to your heart and do wonders for your soul'

Reading this made me cry...for the one question that struck me is... ' what brings me pleasure?' the saddest part of life is...not knowing what you really needed or wanted in life.

As i try to fill in the empty spaces in me, starting to know myself again... im finding what it is that will really make me innerself happy.

men are worse than women

2009-08-25T18:31:00.002+08:00

i was grouped with 3 guys, being the only woman in the group, they get too comfy with each other and with me, and started commenting about the people, with how they walk,talk, act. I was shocked that they're comments are much worse and beyond the limits, no worries about crossing the line there.
HaHa

And they say we bitch too much??

Everything has a First Day

2009-08-24T18:44:00.003+08:00

first day at work with a new company, new peeps, new crowd, new faces, new attitudes. Things that im not used to seeing everyday when i get to work. It hasn't sink in yet, but i know as the days go by i will get a grasp of how im missing my friends at NCO. My common ground, place where i get my laughter.

funny face shots

2009-05-03T10:23:00.000+08:00

One of the happy days! We were playing with my cells cam while waiting in line for a taxi ride home. No boring moments hehehe.

tip toe

2009-04-23T16:39:00.000+08:00

can i just stay inside my shell where ill feel safe instead of being vulnerable of everybody's expectation?

should i take it as a challenge this time? or just walk like how i was asked to walk?

nope, definitely not going to be ruled again, not going to be controlled

ill be as i wanted to be and will enjoy 'me' wherever it will take me, however it will take me

mood swing

2009-04-20T12:56:00.000+08:00

for some reason i dunno why i was kinda down this weekend, had a long ride with relatives, one comment just got stuck in my mind and for some reason i lingered onto it. It brought the blues and all i wanted to do that time was sat quietly at the back of the car and listen to music. The tears were not ready to drop, not just yet, but i know if it finally fall, i'll be okey. I just felt lonely all of a sudden, so i just quietly look at the trees as we passed by it. Nice time to be on 'emotional mode' Nice windy day...with nature all around...and my linkin park music.
I had a nice cry that night and so far, two days after, i think im okey. I can carry on and have the strenght to stand up until the next emotional episode. At least im not the type who bawls like a baby or ask pity/attention from friends or do things that i will regret oneday. I think im handling my 'drama queen episodes' like a strong mature person that i am.

tyra banks show

2009-04-15T17:02:00.000+08:00

i got to see one that was about abusive relationships. its so revealing for me and helped me understand why such things happen. insecure guys wanted to feel manly, feeding up their egos on beating up their women so that they feel powerful and in control. one thing that really strike me there. was when tyra said that her abusive bf once told her that he likes to break women to make them stay...wow bullseye

i'm now found

2009-04-08T13:42:00.000+08:00

the main reason why i don't really want to have my own friendster account is that i don't people to find me. Why? i dunno, i guess i just want my privacy..and mainly because i don't want to have to explain why is this person is looking for me and why is that, churvaloo churvaloo. But when i left, i decided to create my own account because i needed a place where i can store my collected pictures. As secondary to my webshots account. So there i was, put one of my cakes as my pic there and i slowly discovered that ( i am new to friendster) that there are people actually searching for me. Most of them i really don't know, and some are familiar and made my forehead wrinkled, thinking, why the heck is this person even wanting to add me or search for me, when i wasn't even close to those people. Anyways, i was 'finally' discovered by highschool friends and i can't help not to be overwhelmed, i mean with these are old friends , because even after all these years they still remember me. That life i lived so long ago. Funny how old feelings are coming back, memries of childish moments are all of a sudden..flooding. I can't help not to smile.

So, do i still feel i wanted to be found? well... im happy that i am.

A day with my tita elvie

2009-01-12T22:41:00.000+08:00

With 2 weeks of "NO work" , i was so bored went to Sto Tomas Batangas to finally visit my tita elvie's house...when they used to live near my mom's house...i used to spend alot of times with her...mostly watching movies...we love to make comments after each movie, like giving own analysis on why this scene happened or what woulda been a nicer ending things like that...and thats what i really missed so much...someone that i can talk after each movie....i so got to used to watching movies alone...and just used for making me fall asleep...
anyways...we cooked lugaw with tokwa and we talked like crazy...i miss her loud mouth!!
she asked me stay for the night after playing tong its (of course i won again...i do all the time hehe) and after watching twilight ( i saw that movie for like 100 times already)
and then we bought pandesal at 5:30 am ,,it was so cold there that it felt like i was in Baguio with airconditioning. i went home at lunchtime, she wants me to stay for lunch but i know my mom is already breathing fire so...anyways..i had so much fun....

its my birthday its my birthday

2008-11-18T13:54:00.001+08:00

i spent the night at Vj's house and she cooked sopas for me, and she didn't even knew that it was my fave...and then my teammates and cool TM bought a chocolate cake for me, ill show you the pics later and they sang happy birthday to me while im on a call!!! hehehe so happy happy today
i feel blessed

It's Rosebelle's Birthday

2008-11-10T03:13:00.000+08:00

i already planned on what cake to bake for my bunso, but as much as it hurt, it seems that i'll have to get new ideas on how to celebrate her birthday...oh well...there will come a time that'll i'll bake her that tiara cake and more!

High School Musical 3

2008-10-12T13:16:00.001+08:00

Kids are so excited already with this movie which is going to be released Oct. 24, seeing the sweet Troy and Gabriella again together in this 3rd sequel of the blockbuster hit movie. I wonder how this movie will do this time, after Vanessa's nude pic scandal. They changed her sweet skirt and pop up sleeved blouse attires to bohemian-influenced style, just so to balanced her character with that of the scandal, making her more mature and kinda ready for college look. She still carries that sweet innocent look on her eyes, so i hope that whatever that nude image that still remains in our mind whenever we see her pics will be gone once we start watching this movie.

Joren's Birthday

2008-09-25T18:57:00.000+08:00

I baked 2 cakes for him and 24 cupcakes. The yellow cake is my first fondant cake, its MMF. Joren had 2 classmates that came over, a cutey girl and his friend Austin. He was jumping for joy when he found out that his Lolo Rody gave him a bike. His Mamu gave him Lechon de Leche and his Papa prepared a Shabu-shabu. His uncle wawat and Ate May prepared chocolate fountain for him with marshmallows, wafer biscuits and sticko for dippings. I prepared spaghetti and Pancit malabon too with white puto. He was happy and doesn't want to go to sleep yet at 11pm, coz we were still singing that time, he told me it's his birthday.

My 5 day vacation

2008-09-23T18:46:00.000+08:00

With so many things i wanted to do, i don't know where to start. Ironic isn't it? I have a book ive been wanting to read. Two printouts i woulda read long time ago. My mermaid crosstitch that i put out already on the my top drawer so i could make a few stitch here and there, btw i started doing that 3 years ago and i'm a few hundred stitches shy of finishing it. What else? oh i bought a Hugh Grant Dvd and i planned to watch all of it. And i have planned to have a date with my best friend Cherry again. And i've been wanting to do that creamcheese pie....urggghhhh what to do...what to do?
Hubby is asking to have a motorcycle ride with him to Quiapo...with all of these in mind, maybe going out with him is a better idea until i came up with what to do next.

Cakes for Dad

2008-09-22T18:39:00.000+08:00

These are the cakes i made for Daddy. I frosted the cake while cooking chicken macaroni soup. The Mango toppings :

1 Ripe Mango, scraped

2 tbsp of glucose ( to make the sauce sticky)

1/2 cup of sugar

1/8 cup water

Procedure:

Pour everything in a non-stick pan in a low fire, mix until it boils.

Daddy's Birthday

2008-09-22T08:18:00.000+08:00

We made it to Calamba to celebrate my Daddy's birthday, though his birthday is Sept. 17, we made it there a week after. So i made 2 cakes for him, both are mango cakes and i cooked chicken macaroni soup and bought white puto. On the picture from left to right is Jahjah (my newphew), RoseBelle(my daughter), Ethan (my nephew), my Dad and Jang (my daughter).

The other picture is me and daddy.

No sleep for hubby and Rj

2008-09-20T17:59:00.000+08:00

Its was very nice of Rj and hubby to let me take some sleep while they sell the cakes and cookies hehe. I fell asleep at an unused corridor with pile of broken chairs, the chairs there was comfy enuff and that i slept for 7 hours hehehe. I have finally adopted myself with this crazy work schedule, FINALLY.

Ice Cream Personality Test

2008-09-19T07:50:00.000+08:00

Your Ice Cream Personality:

You like to think of yourself as a fairly modest person. And it's true that you don't talk yourself up... but you're also pretty happy with who you are.

You are incredibly cautious. You rather miss out on something than make a mistake. No one would ever call you wild... but they would call you responsible.

You are a somewhat open minded person, but deep down you're fairly conservative. You don't like trying new things very much. And if you do find something new you like, you stick with it.

You tend to have a one track mind. You prefer not to multitask.

You can be a big dramatic and over the top sometimes. You are bold in every way

The Ice Cream Personality Test

cupcakes for bazaar

2008-09-18T13:43:00.000+08:00

I'm here posting my cupcakes, when i should be baking. I still need to bake 2 more cakes and a batch of cookies. *scratches my head*

A Visit to Fully Booked

2008-09-17T05:36:00.000+08:00

I can literally live in a bookstore, that is if they allow me, it's haven for me, i know alot of people can relate. And when we went to Greenhills yesterday, i get to reminisce the feeling of being inside a bookstore again. (here i go again) with the kind of job that i have, i don't really have much time to go or even have time to stay there for a while. Anyways, i just found out that there is another series of books that people are going gah gah over, and which just tells that THAT'S how i am detached to the book world nowadays. Its the books by Stephenie Meyers, the vampire lovestory saga. I don't know why i kinda likevampire books or movies, something in them that makes me fascinated, except Anne Rice books, it gives me a chill from my insides, i mean i like vampires because of fascination but not to the point that i can already sense someone dark watching me hehehe well that's how good A. Rice is.
Anyways i already started to rearrange my book shelf for that 3 vampire books, and hopefully next payday my wallet will spare some money for me *starts doing the math*

A Cake for Flor

2008-09-13T05:12:00.000+08:00

Flor just got home from the hospital about 2 days ago and it's her birthday today, so after coming from work i decided to make a chocolate cake for her. Coz i remember when i was making a chocolate cake with lots of marshmallows she really liked it, so i throw a bagful of marshmallows on her cake and i made another cake the same one just that i made it square , for my kids, i know that once Flor put her cake on the table my kids prolly will not have enough to eat. So the square one is solely for them.

A Taxi Ride with Rosebelle & Aaron

2008-09-10T20:35:00.000+08:00

The traffic was heavy, we have a 4 yr old & an 8 yr old, a teenager whose getting our attention by telling jokes and two women who loves to talk(one was me), we were on our way to Greenhills. It was chaos! I started taking pics and it gave a moment of silence, i found that nick of time of silence precious!

Computer Crashed!!!

2008-09-09T05:52:00.000+08:00

I was JUST about to email all the powerpoint files i made about cupcakes & cake designing, just that i got lazy and watched dvd instead. The day after that my pc crashed and i can hear that little voice inside my head, who likes to blame me all the time, saying ' told you so'. I think thats her favorite line.
So without a pc for a few days is not my worry really, but its more of like i can't really make my son NOT to download games from the net, it's becoming habitual already, that i have to think of another strategy, thats my college son, he seems to be getting a little selfish lately, not considering how others will be affected with his actions. *breathes deeply*.
He was able to retrieve my files tho, so im happy with it. And he helped his uncle to reformat the pc, i hope he learns this time.

The Kobey Bryant Shoes Collection

2008-09-07T21:03:00.001+08:00

This is hubby showing off the new Kobey rubber shoes that he wore for the 2008 Olympics games in Beijing. This particular collection has a number 10 imprinted on the side, Kobey's jersey number for the 2008 Dream Team.

The last Kobey Shoes that he has is still inside the box, untouched.. i think this is the one they call Black Mamba. Not to mention he has the same shoe with a different color. And he has an eye for that new shoe again. .

His first Kobey shoe was bought from Singapore i dunno what it's called but it looked like a robot with totally blackshiny skin and no strings at all.

Don't make me start telling his Kobey's jersey collection.

Weird Memory

2008-09-07T06:04:00.000+08:00

I am VERY VERY forgetful, like turned-the-cabinet-inside-&-out-looking-for-keys-just-to-find-out-its-inside-my-pocket, forgetful. Sometimes i hide my wallet to places i can't remember that i end up buying a new one. Or money that i save for emergencies, i would put it inside somewhere that nobody will ever find, EVEN me. BUT it boggles my mind why there are certain dates that i cannot forget, dates like one of my highschool best friend's bday, which is Sept.
6, her name is Flordeliza,, it's like whenever that day comes im always wishing that if only theres a way to communicate with her.
And the Heavens heard me that Flordeliza got my number and exchange txts msgs since early this year and when Sept 6 came i greeted her early morning. She said that she was SO suprised and happy that i remembered her birthday, we haven't seen each other since after highschool and that was 20 yrs ago and i can't even remember what her last name was, and there i was greeting her on her birthday.
I made a special person of my highschool life happy and after 2o yrs of remembering her every Sept 6 i am able to greet her Happy Birthday finally.

Carrot Cake

2008-09-06T05:30:00.000+08:00

Last Bazaar i have request for a mango cake and carrot cake, thats why i made a carrot cake the other day, and i was suprise to find out that my kids actually love it. If i can still remember the last time i bake one was last New Year, uhmmm and at that time they didn't even want to touch it, i wonder is it because we have like 3 cakes on the table that time or they really didn't knew that it was a carrot cake? Creamcheese frosting is a knock- out and i drizzle a generous amount of melted white chocolate on top, so prolly that gave it a kick to them. Nevertheless, i am again a happy mother :)

Logo sticker

2008-09-04T19:05:00.000+08:00

i talked with my sister's hubby early this afternoon and since he is very good at doing ads i asked him if he can make me a logo for my pastries, SO he is really very good at that and he ask me about putting up things that i want to be in logo, so its 4 am and i'm here browsing.

cookie cut outs II

2008-09-04T07:16:00.000+08:00

It was a bit soft for cutting through the cookie dough was just good enough to leave a mark on the dough and i used a knife to really remove the shaped cookies. So im going to think of more harder material to use.

Sans Rival Disaster OR not

2008-09-02T19:12:00.000+08:00

Well it turned out good, when it comes to the taste, i had 2 people asking about ordering, hehe they said it was very good. I just have to worry about making it a perfect square then. Which will take like 5 sans rival for practice.

Cookie Cut Outs

2008-09-01T17:52:00.000+08:00

I made my own cookie cutouts, since here in the Phils, you don't really have a wide range of shapes to choose when it comes to cookie cutters, i don't want to order online too. So i decided to make my own original designs, i just hope that it will be hard enuff to cut a dough hehe, well i'll find out tomorrow. I'm set to do the cookie dough tonight and ill chill them overnight and will start cutting tomorrow. If it ends well i'm going to do more designs. Oh im sure you'll be asking what the heck is that shape, well it an obvious heart and butterfly, the other one is a flower, it's not a cloud hehehe

Sans Rival Disaster

2008-08-31T17:40:00.000+08:00

I was only doing half recipe, i was trying to save some money, but while i was mixing the egg whites instead of putting 3/4 cup of sugar i used 1 1/2 cup instead which was the whole recipe, so it turned out a little bit sweet and the wafer cracked when i was trying to remove it from the pan. But the butter custard filling tastes so good and it somehow matches the sweetness of the wafer, my kids rated it as 6 (10 being the perfect score) i can settle with 6, i bet its the filling that did it. Next time i hope i can remove it WHOLE from the pan.

Sans Rival

2008-08-31T12:30:00.000+08:00

If i remember correctly the last time i made sans rival was about 11 yrs ago, so hopefully this is going to be good *crosses her fingers*

In Search of a new Addition to my Bazaar

2008-08-30T04:02:00.000+08:00

I've had request about selling brownies just that my brownie recipe seems to not want to cooperate during hectic times, i have made the brownies twice already on the bazaar JUST that it seems that the marshmallows has a mind of its own and wants to melt down on the pan before the timer sets off. So since it happened twice already, i'm about a little nikkyteee about trying a new recipe, what an adventure! I normally try recipes first before have others taste them, not that i'm afraid of rejection, just that its a fab having people saying your cooking is great, and rejection with me seems to go a long way, it was actually when i was.........ok fine fine fine i admit IT, critisisms FREAKS the heck outta me hehehehe

A birthday Cake for Hubby's Mommy

2008-08-28T18:05:00.000+08:00

This is a chiffon cake with white icing. This is the first time i ever made flowers using the same icing to frost the cake, normally i make flowers with more powdered sugar in it and i let it air dry first before putting it on a cake. With this one i used a toothpick to make the flowers and then let the flowers slide down on the cake after pointing the toothpick to where i'm going to arrange the flowers to. I just did'nt thought that it would be this easy.

( Rosebelle played with my cellphone the other day, i dint notice that the flash was off, so sorry about the poor picture quality)

BakeSpace

2008-08-28T10:45:00.000+08:00

This is another website that i find very interesting. You could check it out if you are head over heels about baking. I have already learned a few tricks here and there, so i hope you can learn something new too. Happy browsing!!
This is the link www.bakespace.com
OH btw a warning on those who are brave enuff to check this website...it's highly addictive ;P

The Joy of Baking

2008-08-27T08:23:00.000+08:00

I've always been on a search for a new recipe here and there. One of my favorite site is www.foodnetwork.com, but unfortunately Gale Gand is not there anymore, btw she is the host of 'Sweet Dreams' aired at Lifestyle Network. I have used some of her recipes and they are really good. Anyways, i found a new website http://joyofbaking.com/. This website not only have pictures but it also tells you how the recipe originated and detailed instructions on the correct procedures so the recipe is fail proof. THOUGH i haven't tried any recipe yet, but i'll bake on this week if the budget allows it. The first recipe in line is New York Cheese Cake.

A Love Story

2008-08-25T16:59:00.000+08:00

Everybody has one...will you tell me the one you'll never forget? No need to mention names...i would just like to know, how corny a person can get.
Lemme tell you mine first...

When i was 11,the first time i fell in love was with a star and i collected pictures, magazine & posters. I have seen concerts and went to his TV appearances. One time i was on his concert, i had to jump down from one level to another at the back side of the stage, that particular place was so dark, didn't care if the jump will break my bones, all i knew that time was i had to be near...when i finally jumped and was about 10 feet away from him, i stretched my arms and shouted...'I LOVE YOU ***!!!! I LOVE YOU***!!!,. The guard beside him looked to check where that desperate voice was coming from....but he..... didn't. I then realize how impossible it is to even touch him. At the age of thirteen i already knew how it felt to have your heart broken into pieces.

A facial Day with Chinggay

2008-08-24T12:49:00.000+08:00

She is going to kill me when she sees this. This was after the bazaar. Chinggay didn't stop talking about every woman deserving a girly day and she went on and on almost half of the day, i told her i still have cupcakes to sell, you know what she did?She helped me with selling them, just so to make me go with her. Fine...ok...i'll go... i'll just post our picture then. Love yah girl ;)
And BTW doesn't she still look puuurrrtty pretty??

Bazaar

2008-08-23T12:45:00.000+08:00

It's payday bazaar. These are my goodies and with God's Blessings i am able to sell all of them.

Cupcakes

2008-08-22T13:06:00.000+08:00

Rosebelle requested me to bake cupcakes for her, the kids really love the chocolate cupcakes, well almost all kids do. Though i still have work tonight, i opted to follow, again who am i to say no i'm just a mother. And you know it's a delight to hear your kids craving for something that only you can make and that they love it. It's a mother's piece of heaven.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

2008-08-21T09:12:00.000+08:00

I had been searching for the perfect choco chip cookie recipe.. my ever first try to bake this cookie was about 1998 but the recipe was so soft that even after chilling the cookie dough, minutes after i put in the oven, it starts loosing it shape and crawls like it wants to be a one big whole cookie. So instead a a chewy unresistable delight, its so crispy you can put in an ice cream sundae for decorations. Well at least it has some use. Then i started searching for more recipes finally 10 years later i came up with one, made some alterations with my kids good taste with sweets and whallahh i think i came up with a good recipe that people actually love it.
Now i have a new quest... a hunt for an oreo cheese cake pie recipe, i hope this time it won't that long to get the perfect one.

New Schedule

2008-08-19T17:22:00.000+08:00

I was always waiting for RDOT(Rest Day Over Time) announcements and when management started to asked for people who are willing to render RDOT, upon hearing that i stood rushing up waving my hand like crazy on the air, was about to fall on the ground, because i still had my headset on, to sign up for it. And upon signing up the Team Lead announced that not only it's RDOT pay (wait there's more) there will be additional PhP50 per hour. I was already calculating how much i'll be earning for that day. And i was so happy with the sum. YEeeePPEeee!
Anyways i found out that we have a new schedule,the one that i've been praying for and wishing to have all this months. Our team will be moved to a 'closer' time shift, i love this shift coz not only i can get more sleep at night, i can take care of my kids before they go to school. I was happy. Im SO having a lucky day...RDOT available, PhP50/hr additional and i'm going to have my dream shift! But along with that new time shift they also changed our rest days and of course you know what's next... the RDOT day happened to be the day that was supposed to be my rest day is now a regular day work for me. I dunno what i felt that moment. I SOOO envy those guys who worked today, they get like 220% x basic pay. *sits down and holds her head*

Lessons Learned:
a. Be careful with what you wish for.
b. Be... DETAILED... with what you wish for.
c. Don't be confused with good lucks and bad lucks, only the latter has the privilege of coming in threes.

Bridges of Madison County

2008-08-19T04:34:00.000+08:00

One of the great movies i know. I didn't want to watch it at first, i already knew that from the movie preview its a love story. I was thinking heck Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep in a love story movie? *rolls my eyes* who in a right mind put their money to produce this movie? I mean who would want to watch two old people making out? C'mon. I mean we prefer seeing young kids falling in love and then growing up together, but they have to start young in the movie first. But with this movie? Nope! The story started in their midlife. Francesca (Meryl Streep) was a mother of two teenagers and Robert (Clint Eastwood) was a photographer for National Geographic. Just that at that time i really run out of choices for movies that i rented this one.
Alas, lo and behold, i cried like crazy, bawled even, started middle of the movie up till it was showing the credits. I shouldn't be surprise at all, this two magnificent actors,who knows how to choose a very good script definitely knows their craft.Btw i have the book too. This movie breaks your heart into pieces like what you expect in a love story movie to be, it makes you think that a mother will do everything for her kids to the extent of loosing herself, but it makes you realize that love can survive, grow & be so strong even far apart, and that kind of love can happen.. A favorite poem of mine fits this movie...

Tho lovers be lost
But love shall not
And death shall have no dominion

Francesca: Robert, please. You don't understand, no-one does. When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you're expected move again only you don't remember what moves you because no-one has asked in so long. Not even yourself. You never in your life think that love like this can happen to you.

Robert Kincaid: This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.

Burger King team building

2008-08-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

After work i went with out with my old teammates. Although Lindsay wasn't able to join us, she later text us that she was rushed to the doctor, blood pressure was low. I was thinking, my gosh she is so young for that. Although with the kind of work that we have? Bouncing blood pressures are pretty common. But she's still forever immortalized in my mind as a young girl. Anyway i hope she gets well soon.
There were just 5 of us, but my gosh, we rocked the whole place down, we were so loud with sharing stories and laughing. Which is one of the things that i really missed. I have bonded with this people and that is etched for eternity.
Cha, is now continuing her studies at UP Diliman, she resigned about 3 months ago. And my gosh she looks very very pretty and stress free. I missed her quick response to everything, well she can get politically sarcastic, but she is very funny that way. Cute even. You can talk to her about anything and she can definitely relate even though she is much younger than Lindsay. Which means she is forever young to me. I love her to pieces.
Then there is Daryl, he resigned about 2 months ago, due to? *thinks* what was his reason again for quitting work? nothing really, he just, all of a sudden, didn't go to work one night and the next night and the night after that. When he came back after 5 days, he is proud to carry a medical certificate, proving he was clever to have come up with one. He then told me he was so engrossed on playing tong-its and he lost money. SO, after going to work one night he suddenly went absent again. So we were wondering what happened, we asked Balot, his closest friend among us, and she said Daryl was finally sick. Was at the hospital at that time and he has used up all his leaves. And that prolly made him quit work. But he is still one of the nicest guys i know at work, like Cha, he is quite frank and he'll tell it to you at your face if need be. And i like him for that.
And there is Balot who is still working at NCO. She will assist you till she drops. She is just like that always helpful, BUT extra helpful with girls she is smitten with. Vj call her 'pokpok' she has lots of crushes at work, but she definitely has her eye on one of them at a time. Right now she is very much into serving 'toot toot' that's how we call her, she is one of our team mates. And 'toot toot' is pretty and very attractive. Balot has been praying to join the team so she can be near her. Anyways, Balot is also one of the nicest person i know and she is very honest and real when it comes with helping people. And i like her for that.
And there is VJ, when i first met her, she was quiet. Gloomy even, we've been at the same company for 2 yrs & 10 months now, and her,hmmm about the same time. And we used to be together in one team way back our old account. And i sat beside her, coz i thought she needed someone to talk to. She is witty and very intelligent and my dang she is very good at selling. But she is totally turn the table around, flip the coin upside down, black to white, different now. It's like, isn't the tsunami at thailand? or the earthquake at china? i dunno what rocked her world, but all i know is that she looks very very much happier now and much open to show who she really is, she can be sarcastically funny and she comes up with quick witts here and there. I so love her that way. And she is one of my bestfriends (well i only have two) at work and i love her to bits. I am able to open my problems to her, and she knows me more than any people at work. And lemme repeat this, i love her to bits.
So anyways, we stayed there for 3 hours i think, and we went on our own ways and we talked about having another get together again. Cha, Daryl and Balot went to visit Say. And they let me get the first ride home.
And the load i was carrying the whole day was lifted. I didn't knew that i can get to enjoy going out, coz i'm not really into 'going out' with friends. Normally after work i just religiously go home. And i'm already looking forward to seeing them again and with new stories and laughs to share together.

This is a start of finally having to say something

2008-08-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

Typically i am very quiet especially around many people, i'm always the one listening and observing. But i have noticed that since i started working again about 3 yrs ago, surrounded with younger ppl, i have learned how to butt in and have them hear my thoughts but then again if you compare that to a regular person, im still timid. Anyways, ever since i can remember, i've been writing my thoughts. I remember i had Sandra( my first diary) where i wrote my experiences at highschool....i still have her hidden somewhere...im too ashamed to read it tho hehe and do i need to explain why? hehe, hey wait of course i will explain why...but prolly later
I know i have like 4 diaries...the last one is a starbucks organizer that got torned recently...thoughts from that one are all sad, gloomy experiences that in one way or another had helped me release some of the feelings i was going thru at that time, but hey i've come up with wise quotes there and im proud of that already.
Anyways, be ready with my thoughts & comments. I'm already loving this!!

Internet TV & movies

2008-08-15T17:24:00.000+08:00

I just recently discovered that you can actually watch TV series and movies online. Not only that, you can download it to your mobile phones, if its capable and if you have the memory card for that, wow! well prolly not that jaw dropping thing for others, my sweet sugar shake it is to me!! So im starting to watch a movie now, 'Fracture' with the great Anthony Hopkins, i have missed this movie at HBO and been trying to catch it. And i'm so happy that i have the opportuny to watch it with a little click of my mouse.

preparations for the bazaar

2008-08-14T17:24:00.000+08:00

have started to buy the materials needed for my bazaar and with the sudden change of my schedule this week i dunno how am i going to bake on wednesday and thursday. So i'm kind of planning to do each day until friday. But right now i'm going to start doing the skinless longgonisa and will teach Flor on how to wrap it, so she can start doing that tomorrow. And then i did molded some chocolate lollipops already and i'm going to wrap 'em up later before i go to bed.
And prolly tomorrow i'll make the dough for boat tarts and will store them in the fridge. Then the day after that i'll make the dough for sugar cookies, will shape them up and store them in the fridge again. And then i'll start baking the cupcakes and while waiting for them to cook, i'll prepare and measure all the needed recipes, will separate the eggs so that thursday i'll just throw them inside the oven and whaaallaaa prolly, it'll just take 8 hours for me to bake 3 cakes, the tarts and cookies. I wonder how i can do all of that?*scratches my head and think*

cupcakes instead?

2008-08-13T17:25:00.000+08:00

I stayed home while the kids went to Tagaytay with in-laws. And our maid 'Flor' was suppose to have a day off today, she asked me earlier this week about it, she said it's her husband's birthday, but my hubby told her to stay today and just take her off next week. So when i saw her this morning starting to clean the house, i asked her what time is she going. She told me about her convo with hubby and i felt sorry for her, she explained that hubby didn't knew about her husband's birthday. SO i asked her to go. She said she doesn't have money, told her i can only lend her PhP100 for fare and then we'll bake a cake. She readily agreed and i made someone smile today, which feels heavenly.
SO we started with preparations and i noticed i run out of paper lining and that i only have paper cups for cupcakes. SO i asked Flor ' Cupcakes instead?' who will say no to that only option?

the love to blog

2008-08-12T17:26:00.000+08:00

Who would have thought that writing blogs is going to make me SO happy. My sweet sugar shake, i love it. I have started feeling so happy already. This is one of the advice i got from one of my favorite person in the world. He told me to do things that makes me happy, and at first alot of questions came popping out of my mind.. ' what am i suppose to write?', ' how can i come up with things to say...everyday even..' , 'will i come up with cool things say?' , 'Will somebody even bother to read them?', 'will this add to my burden and responsibilities?' etc etc etc
Boy i didn't thought that ideas to write will start pouring and each day i have like 10 topics running in my mind to share with. I'm getting excited already on what to write the next day.
And not only i'm able to let the world hear my thoughts , but i'm finally able to feel conscious free about it. And it releases some of the feelings i had boiled down inside of me, and already makes my load less heavy.

sugar cookies

2008-08-11T17:36:00.000+08:00

I was so stressed with what's happening around me and when i came home from work, the kids requested for me to baked lollipop sugar cookies (and who am i to say no, i am just a mother, i don't have the heart to say no) i readily started baking. And that i come up with 14 lollipops. In the middle of lining the cookies on the pan i thought this could be fun, i just need to start using my artistic side ( if there is one) and will start designing. FUN TIME. This could be a stress releasing moment for me. Uhmmm and indeed it was. Not only that i'm proud of myself with the designs i came up with (goodthing i took some pics, coz the moment the icings were set, a storm blew the cookies away) i'm able do something that really makes me happy and content...be a servant to whatever my kids wants..being able to GIVE them what they want...and baking. *smiling happily*

Full House

2008-08-11T13:18:00.000+08:00

Finally the dvd remote control is fixed and i can start watching Full House again. Though i have seen this already, i just want to see Rain again. I'm not into Korean Tv series, not into Mexican series as well. I prefer watching Smallville, Ghost Whisperer, Heroes, and so forth. I never saw myself watching and reading captions at the same time. One day i run out of dvds and series to watch, at that time i just finished One Tree Hill Season 1-4, and then Rosebelle saw me looking for some dvds to watch she pleaded me with those puppy cute eyes to watch Full House and i am just a mother i can't have the right to say no and i was like, ill prolly be asleep by the time it even started so, i said ok if she watch with me. Thats a good deal already. And so we did, i didn't get my 5 hours sleep that day. Song Hye Kyo(Jessie) is so cute and pretty with how she expresses her emotions with facial reactions and Rain is SO handsome with his small eyes and childish smile. PurrRRrrrRR. The series is so CUTE that i am thinking of producing the sequel if i win the lottery. *Runs to the lotto both*

When i was...

2008-08-10T13:45:00.000+08:00

I remember going up at our roof every 4 in the afternoon when i was a teen. Mainly because i find peace there. I remember conquering the fear of walking on the wall that leads to the roof, balancing my way through this 6 inch thick wall and my feet was barely fitting it that i had to step sideways. I just sat there for an hour talking to GOD and looking at a far rice field. I can see the grass dancing with the tree branches to and fro. I grew up always seeing Mt. Makiling, but when i am up there she looks a lot different and more magnificent. If only i had a camera phone that time i woulda taken tons of pics already. I wish i can go back there, if the roof can still hold my weight which has quadrapled already. Just to get the feel of that peace again.

Bloggin

2008-08-08T15:57:00.000+08:00

I slept last night watching 'Wanted' by Angelina Jolie at around 12:00 am. Don't get me wrong, it is a very good movie, just that watching movies is the only thing that really helps me sleep. Now don't get me wrong again by thinking that i have insomia. NOPE. It's just that my work is at night, and i have been doing the same work for 3 yrs now, so it did screwed up my sleeping hours during my off days. And whats funny is that i'll wake up every time somebody turns the tv off. Anyways i have spent the whole morning sleeping in the middle of watching 'Prom night' ( yup! even suspense thriller movies makes me sleep). I woked up at 12:30 waiting for my daughter to come home from school so we can go get some groceries. I have to start preparing for the bazaar. I have a bazaar every 2nd friday of the month. It helps with the bills. But gosh i baked till i drop for a total of 2 whole days. BTW i sell cakes, pies, tarts & cookies. And i LOVVVVEEEE baking so much i don't care if all my muscles starts to melt running down on my bones.
Anyways this is my second day, and i am really loving it already.

Being a Mother 1

2008-08-08T14:17:00.000+08:00

With my crazy schedule i don't get to spend much time with my kids. It's either they are at school by the time i come home, or i'll be asleep by the time they come home from school. One of the things that i do so we can have quality time whenever im off i will buy movies that they like so we can watch together. But with 4 kids having 4 with different moods it's hard to get them together in one room. And only a mother can think of how to keep her own kids. You know how i do it? I just buy 1 bag of different chips and drinks and whallaaa i don't even have to call them.

Blobb for Life

2008-08-07T04:19:00.000+08:00

I normally talk about nonsense, sometimes there are 3 topics running in my mind, that i blobb all the time, hubby normally has a hard time keeping up with what i'm saying most especially when im mixing one idea from another. One early morning when hubby was accompanying me to the taxi area, i was going to work that time, he talked about making dumplings and i told him i have a good recipe for that and it its fail-proof and my mind was still thinking of ingredients and he asked me about how to make a sauce for fishball, so i answered him with ingredients for siomai and sauce at the same time, he said here i go again. SOrry about that its just that im about a nick of a second late and that i was hurrying up. SO blobbing is my favorite moment and coz i find it humorous afterwards.

It's 3 am

2008-08-05T18:26:00.000+08:00

yes and i'm here blogging my heart out. I just discovered another weird thing about working at night. It's my day off and with my new time shift nowadays i normally get sleepy at around 8pm, with hubby having long discussions about his new venture, he's been going to bed a little bit late more than a few nights now, SO, when he went to bed tonight or last night *boggles her head* i think last night coz it morning already (i'm blobbing) he accidentally woke me up and since i was already awake he invited me to get some food. SO we did had a quick snack and some share of ideas about his venture and now after talking he fell asleep and here i am, wide-eyed-brain-very active- awake. I can't find me sleep anymore since i USED to being awake at wee hours in the morning, might as well wait for 1 more hour. I have to prepare breakfast anyways, its a school day.