Homey2

One of the good things about staying home is I get to put decorations around the house. Yeh I did Halloween,Thanksgiving and (just this morning) Christmas. This is my first to experience a real Christmas tree and wow it smells so good!!! Not only the house is so reddish and silverish (that the chosen color for this year red and silver),the tree brings out that tingly smell that makes me sniff the air everytime I pass by it. We also put up alot of christmas lights outside so the house is twinkling at night time. It's nice,really nice...this little things brings me happiness all the time.

Homey

I have my nerves set up to 'slow mode', and my body is adjusted to it now. I used to run around and do errands just so I don't get bored, well it's been 4 months since I left my job so yeah all i do now is just cook and watch movies.
I dont want to get used to this tho, I would like to get a job soon and start earning.... And yeah have a lovely time for myself even for just an hour or two. I used to boggle my head on what to do when I was alone coz I was not used to that,now that I'm finally around with alot of people, I miss the quiet solitude of me,my music and my thoughts. Yeah life is weird, like all the time.

Starry starry night

I wanna be positive about this,optimistic as I could be. I will have that one wish I always long for. In Gods perfect time

Why?

Questions that suffocates me...over and over. I'll be wondering for the rest of my life. This one wish I can never have.

Untitled

My heart remains to where it was before,stupid I know but i just want to stand there still until I run out of reasons to justify why. My heart doesn't ache anymore for what it longs for I have accepted it's not for me to keep. Everything happens for a reason whatever that is I'm still trying to understand and accept it.

movie marathon

one beautiful sunday, 3 movies, a bucketful of popcorn and extra large soda. enough to make my kids happy and content and STILL for a day haha. i swear i'm running out of activities for them to do. i dunno why they get bored SO easily!

oh well, we are going to do this again next sunday, coz thats what i wanted for my birthday, another movie marathon with them. and harry potter is on too !!! so excited :)

the love for baking

i love cooking, don't get me wrong and it seems that it's all i do now. The kids loves the end product and that makes me happy. I get to experiment on some recipes i recently discovered, tho i only baked once, but i do use the oven pretty much. I do miss straining some flour, getting my hands sticky with icings and dough or decorating cakes. You see here, cakes are everywhere and any box you see seems to have a ready made bake goodies and all it needs is some water, shove it in the oven and its good to eat in 15 minutes. People here are amazed with you (with their jaw on the ground even) if you bake something from scratch. Im always tounge-tied with my reaction it seems that good old fashioned baking is not THAT common anymore. I hope i will never ever adopt to that. I always love to get my fingers dirty, have my shirt covered with either powdered sugar, cream or cocoa, get so tired with 8 hours of baking and eating the end result.And yeah i love sharing 'em too.

First week in New Jersey

The rushing cold wind on the airport, me and the kids are okey with it. Warm hugs from my kids and husband that welcomed us. We drove most of the week, showing us around this beautiful place, where all houses looked like fairytales. I lost my sense of direction for everytime a place made a mark on my mind another pretty place will pass by and i am lost for a landmark! Its been two weeks now and its the only time im starting to memorize the way around. Ill be driving soon and i really need to remember everything turn and stops and streets.

love those chocolate drizzle

i finally found a time and energy to bake again! This is an angel cake with white frosting. I used whipping cream but didn't put too much sugar to it, so its light. The sweetness comes from the chocolate drizzle thats why i went overboard on that and the rice crispies on top is to add texture cause the cake is so fluffy.

One of my favorite cakes!

Ricky Martin is Gay

i remember the first time i saw him was from a poster, that wide eyed smile...that pointy nose..so innocent and thin...he was 13 yrs old...a member of a popular puerto rican group "Menudo". I was then about to enter Highschool.They visited Philippines 3 yrs in a row and i never missed a concert, TV appearances and oh boy the pics i bought from my small allowance i considered a treasure back then. Pleaded my mom to buy me posters and to even go with me to this TV studio so i can see him near...well i did and boy i was madly inlove!

Then the popularity faded, didn't hear his name for years to come...then one night while watching an international beauty contest on TV he appeared, i saw him sing one more time..i can't believe my eyes...a miracle to even see him again....a young man now, i trace his face for differences, he looked the same, the same wide eyed smile....

Years passed and he became world wide popular...he is now a man...with muscles and nice body built...his face with traces of maturity..with angles and sharpness...he still carries that same smile...the thing that caught me off guard years back..Women swirming all around him...with his sexy songs and dances....

He is now a father of 2 baby boys.. and yea finally admitted that he is gay...what can i say? He said he is fortunate and i think he is living his life happy..and theres nothing more i can wish for him.

missing the habbit

with the kind of work that i do now, that i needed to allow 4 hours of travel time going and coming home from work, thats just eats up my energy and i can't seem to find the strength to bake again.... and with the small kitchen that i have now, baking you know takes up space, with all my knicks and knacks, everywhere. Its just too tiring to even clean up my baking mess afterwards. whewww....i cant even try new recipes! when i used to have time to do that every week. but oh well, im going to file a leave soon and heck im going to bake till im so sore and can't move anymore. Now thats a plan!

It seems that i'm not adopted with my new life yet and to think its been a year now.

a night off

i am sleepy but i choose to enjoy this quiet moment browsing something to read....which i haven't done in such a long time now, how i love to browse for food blogs and now i am having a feast. i miss sitting in front of the computer for hours just browsing and not minding of the time.. at wee hours in the morning, and yea here i am, savoring it, but i know i need sleep because im going to bike this morning and need to attend a seminar at 2pm and then check for some documents i need to complete for an application. Oh well im fully booked this day what can i say and here i am, sitting and just reading... 

ok ok ill just stay for 5 more minutes then go to bed.

Dancing at the Plaza

Every weekend at 5am, a group of middle aged women dances at the Town Plaza Hall. This is a project of the Mayor's wife, for exercise. At first i was shy to try to join them, but in due time my dancing feet kicks in and there i am dancing with them for 2 hours. Its fun and a nice way to release stress. As i bike my way to be there and im so glad that today is my off so i can join the saturday class, since i can normally join them during sundays. I have lost alot of weight already, since ive been jogging 3 times a week and this dancing thing is also a way of socializing with people who wants to stay healthy like me. Coz with jogging im just alone with my headset and no other people to laugh with. Im into biking also, when my knees hurt (yea im old ) and i get too lazy with running, i just bike around the town.

I still need to loose 10-15 more pounds and im getting there!

mocha cake

its a mocha chiffon cake, with candied walnuts on top, grated chocolate and chocolate drizzle. The frosting is whipped cream with a dash of coffee and powdered sugar.

starting to bake again

i finally have my old oven back and im starting to do what i love this world...baking!!! with the stress im having at work, im finally able to have some release and boy im having so much fun.

its nice to have people roaming around and picking up things that you bake while your not looking haha at least you knw you are doing a great job on it, but please leave some for me to taste it hehehe

im in heaven and theres nothing left to say :))

rj's diary

i just read Rj's last entry and so nothing has changed i guess, well im not really looking forward to any changes, but hopes are up and i wish since there are in a new place now, the one he is looking up to finally grows up and stop being a someone that we all need to carry on all our shoulders,to think he should have been the wall that we can lean upon on.

not even a miracle can change him. im so glad he is out of my life, but i guess he is not letting me go that easy.

phenomenon

yesterday i had free time to sit and open the tv, as i browsed thru the channels i saw HBO opening credits, i saw John Travolta's name, and wished that the next name that will flash is Kyra Seigwick. And yeah wish granted. I missed watching movies like this, nice love story, its nice to see how George Malley patiently waited till Lace was ready to love him. He loved her and bought her chairs. One of my fave movies of all times. The famous line there thats unforgettable is when George asked Lace " Will you love me for the rest of my life? ". Lace replied "No,... i will love you for the rest of mine.."

Do it Do it

a line from a book given to me by Vj
'What brings you pleasure? Do it Do it, for it will give lightness to your heart and do wonders for your soul'

Reading this made me cry...for the one question that struck me is... ' what brings me pleasure?' the saddest part of life is...not knowing what you really needed or wanted in life.

As i try to fill in the empty spaces in me, starting to know myself again... im finding what it is that will really make me innerself happy.

men are worse than women

i was grouped with 3 guys, being the only woman in the group, they get too comfy with each other and with me, and started commenting about the people, with how they walk,talk, act. I was shocked that they're comments are much worse and beyond the limits, no worries about crossing the line there.
HaHa

And they say we bitch too much??

Everything has a First Day

first day at work with a new company, new peeps, new crowd, new faces, new attitudes. Things that im not used to seeing everyday when i get to work. It hasn't sink in yet, but i know as the days go by i will get a grasp of how im missing my friends at NCO. My common ground, place where i get my laughter.