Sunday, December 19, 2010

Moving on

No need to stay where I was..I was so blinded to have believed. Now that everything is in the clearing I realized how I was wrong to have even gave you a portion of me... I was just an itch that needed to be scratched. Yeah I was a fool to believe that your not heartless. No more pain I choose to not hurt by you anymore. If you think that you won on this game of yours then feel that winning... its yours...I will not let me be touched by you no more...

Friday, December 10, 2010

A sudden change of heart came like a thief in the night, un invited, un expected , unwanted. So sudden that it took my feelings away in a mere blink of an eye... Am I happy about it?? Still looking for answers...when I have finally decided to stop here you are again...

Monday, December 6, 2010

The unexpected

turned off by un expectancy. Feelings geared to what it needed to get in touch with.... Yeah reality.... Finally acceptance
Comes clean with what's real by what's here on hand.

Sunday, December 5, 2010


One of the good things about staying home is I get to put decorations around the house. Yeh I did Halloween,Thanksgiving and (just this morning) Christmas. This is my first to experience a real Christmas tree and wow it smells so good!!! Not only the house is so reddish and silverish (that the chosen color for this year red and silver),the tree brings out that tingly smell that makes me sniff the air everytime I pass by it. We also put up alot of christmas lights outside so the house is twinkling at night time. It's nice,really nice...this little things brings me happiness all the time.


I have my nerves set up to 'slow mode', and my body is adjusted to it now. I used to run around and do errands just so I don't get bored, well it's been 4 months since I left my job so yeah all i do now is just cook and watch movies.
I dont want to get used to this tho, I would like to get a job soon and start earning.... And yeah have a lovely time for myself even for just an hour or two. I used to boggle my head on what to do when I was alone coz I was not used to that,now that I'm finally around with alot of people, I miss the quiet solitude of me,my music and my thoughts. Yeah life is weird, like all the time.

Starry starry night

I wanna be positive about this,optimistic as I could be. I will have that one wish I always long for. In Gods perfect time

Saturday, December 4, 2010


Questions that suffocates me...over and over. I'll be wondering for the rest of my life. This one wish I can never have.

Friday, December 3, 2010


My heart remains to where it was before,stupid I know but i just want to stand there still until I run out of reasons to justify why. My heart doesn't ache anymore for what it longs for I have accepted it's not for me to keep. Everything happens for a reason whatever that is I'm still trying to understand and accept it.

Monday, November 15, 2010

movie marathon

one beautiful sunday, 3 movies, a bucketful of popcorn and extra large soda. enough to make my kids happy and content and STILL for a day haha. i swear i'm running out of activities for them to do. i dunno why they get bored SO easily!

oh well, we are going to do this again next sunday, coz thats what i wanted for my birthday, another movie marathon with them. and harry potter is on too !!! so excited :)

Friday, November 12, 2010

the love for baking

i love cooking, don't get me wrong and it seems that it's all i do now. The kids loves the end product and that makes me happy. I get to experiment on some recipes i recently discovered, tho i only baked once, but i do use the oven pretty much. I do miss straining some flour, getting my hands sticky with icings and dough or decorating cakes. You see here, cakes are everywhere and any box you see seems to have a ready made bake goodies and all it needs is some water, shove it in the oven and its good to eat in 15 minutes. People here are amazed with you (with their jaw on the ground even) if you bake something from scratch. Im always tounge-tied with my reaction it seems that good old fashioned baking is not THAT common anymore. I hope i will never ever adopt to that. I always love to get my fingers dirty, have my shirt covered with either powdered sugar, cream or cocoa, get so tired with 8 hours of baking and eating the end result.And yeah i love sharing 'em too.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

First week in New Jersey

The rushing cold wind on the airport, me and the kids are okey with it. Warm hugs from my kids and husband that welcomed us. We drove most of the week, showing us around this beautiful place, where all houses looked like fairytales. I lost my sense of direction for everytime a place made a mark on my mind another pretty place will pass by and i am lost for a landmark! Its been two weeks now and its the only time im starting to memorize the way around. Ill be driving soon and i really need to remember everything turn and stops and streets.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

love those chocolate drizzle

i finally found a time and energy to bake again! This is an angel cake with white frosting. I used whipping cream but didn't put too much sugar to it, so its light. The sweetness comes from the chocolate drizzle thats why i went overboard on that and the rice crispies on top is to add texture cause the cake is so fluffy.

One of my favorite cakes!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Ricky Martin is Gay

i remember the first time i saw him was from a poster, that wide eyed smile...that pointy innocent and thin...he was 13 yrs old...a member of a popular puerto rican group "Menudo". I was then about to enter Highschool.They visited Philippines 3 yrs in a row and i never missed a concert, TV appearances and oh boy the pics i bought from my small allowance i considered a treasure back then. Pleaded my mom to buy me posters and to even go with me to this TV studio so i can see him near...well i did and boy i was madly inlove!

Then the popularity faded, didn't hear his name for years to come...then one night while watching an international beauty contest on TV he appeared, i saw him sing one more time..i can't believe my eyes...a miracle to even see him again....a young man now, i trace his face for differences, he looked the same, the same wide eyed smile....

Years passed and he became world wide popular...he is now a man...with muscles and nice body built...his face with traces of maturity..with angles and sharpness...he still carries that same smile...the thing that caught me off guard years back..Women swirming all around him...with his sexy songs and dances....

He is now a father of 2 baby boys.. and yea finally admitted that he is gay...what can i say? He said he is fortunate and i think he is living his life happy..and theres nothing more i can wish for him.

Monday, March 15, 2010

missing the habbit

with the kind of work that i do now, that i needed to allow 4 hours of travel time going and coming home from work, thats just eats up my energy and i can't seem to find the strength to bake again.... and with the small kitchen that i have now, baking you know takes up space, with all my knicks and knacks, everywhere. Its just too tiring to even clean up my baking mess afterwards. whewww....i cant even try new recipes! when i used to have time to do that every week. but oh well, im going to file a leave soon and heck im going to bake till im so sore and can't move anymore. Now thats a plan!

It seems that i'm not adopted with my new life yet and to think its been a year now.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

a night off

i am sleepy but i choose to enjoy this quiet moment browsing something to read....which i haven't done in such a long time now, how i love to browse for food blogs and now i am having a feast. i miss sitting in front of the computer for hours just browsing and not minding of the time.. at wee hours in the morning, and yea here i am, savoring it, but i know i need sleep because im going to bike this morning and need to attend a seminar at 2pm and then check for some documents i need to complete for an application. Oh well im fully booked this day what can i say and here i am, sitting and just reading... 

ok ok ill just stay for 5 more minutes then go to bed.